We sang “How Great Thou Art” in church today, the one hymn that has followed me from my more fundamentalist conservative church upbringing through the various congregations and para-church events I attended in college through the nine years I’ve been in Illinois. The chorus, “Then sings my soul…how great Thou art!”, gets me every time. It seems to find me when my soul is decidedly not necessarily in the mood to believe it (that God is great), let alone sing it. This song also reminds me, every time we sing it at church, why going to church per se is not for God’s benefit, but for our, for my, benefit. Sure, corporately worshiping God and learning about God glorifies Him, and that’s incredibly important. But the gathering of Christians in worship of God is a gift from God that truly benefits Christians.
Here’s a reason why: after a long week which often involves the seemingly-endless struggle of anxiety and depression, and conflict and fear of conflict, and strained and broken relationships, and a constant news-cycle shit-storm, my broken and tired soul needs to be fed the truth, spoken both by me and by others around me. I bring all this in with me when I go to church on Sundays, and so my heart is rarely in a place to believe how great God is when we begin to sing. But I read the words and sing it aloud anyway, while listening to those around me proclaiming the words as well, hoping for the grace to truly believe. Never underestimate the power of a beautiful song to affect the deepest places of your heart in such a way that nothing else can. More often than not, when my heart is in a state of unbelief yet longing to know God, grace prevails and the truth of the hymns or of the Bible do strengthen and refresh me, especially when there are 100 other people immediately around me also affirming these words.
I’m not a songwriter by any stretch of the imagination, but after singing “How Great Thou Art” today (originally a poem written by Carl Boberg in 1885), I thought it could be interesting and helpful to add some verses to personalize it a bit, especially as a way to meet my heart when it’s in more of an anxious and dark place. In the actual song, the first couple stanzas are in response to the richness and wonder of God’s creation, so this exercise was to try starting from the place of a hurting, near-sighted (and self-sighted) spirit and see if there’s a way to re-orient the focus of that [familiar] spirit to the greatness of God, even in the midst of worry and grief.
- Oh Lord my God, I’ve stumbled in the valley,
I’m hidden from Your grace and from your peace
I find myself so shaken and despairing
And wonder if my soul shall find release
Still sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee: How great Thou art - And when my head is full of lies and worry,
I fail to grasp how generous You are…
I see the birds and sun and moon and flowers,
You care for these, much more so for my heart
So sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee: How great Thou art - I’m overwhelmed by hatred and injustice
That fills this earth, and cannot see You clear
Hardships don’t cease, they fill my heart with anguish;
I cry to You, it feels not like You’re near
Still pleads my soul, my Savior God, to Thee: How great Thou art - When bridges burn and on this isle I wander
I look around, it seems like I’m alone.
I search for You, I seek with cries and weeping…
I beg of You to come and take me home.
So wails my soul, my Savior God, to Thee: How great Thou art - Forgive me Lord, when I believe the Liar
And when they taunt, “sin triumphs over grace!”
Please point me to the cross, the grave still empty,
And lead me to the sweetness of Thy face
Then sings my soul, Victorious God, to Thee: How great Thou art!